Hooked on Phonics? or Facebook?

I've been thinking for a while about the ways in which I use social media, and the filter-down ways in which our collective use of social media affects us.  Watch this.

We all know about cyber-bullying by now, but what about the presence of bigger bullies? Sharks instead of puny siamese fighting fish. I liked the writer's use of Maslow's hierarchy of needs in his discussion of people's internet use (beginning at 8:15).

Moment of honesty... When I'm using Facebook, what level on Maslow's hierarchy am I trying to meet? Honestly? Not often self-actualization. Not often in pursuit of social justice for others. I'm most often chatting with friends. Code for: Trying to meet the universal human need for belonging and esteem from others.  And this is how it works...

We all seek belonging. It's normal, healthy, and inescapable. The real question is to what extent social media facilitates meaningful relationship. After an hour on Facebook... do we feel soul-filled? or do we long for better connections? What about after an hour of chatting over coffee with a friend? What are the most effective ways of fostering connection between one person and another.

Some may argue for the value of Facebook and other social media (like this blog), and my desire is not to entirely negate this. However, I am arguing that social media has LIMITED value in forging meaningful (soul-filling) interpersonal connections. Perhaps social media (Facebook and Twitter being prominent among them) is the candy of social connections; it spikes the blood sugar but doesn't offer any real nutritional value. We're kidding ourselves if we think that social media provides a balanced social diet. Time spent using social media should be monitored much in the same way we monitor our fast food intake. We fear that it would make us feel disconnected from 'the rest of the world'. And yes... abstaining may feel like a strict diet or a radical cleanse until we learn new patterns of connecting. Social media connects people - yes! I question, however, the quality of the connection.

Possible action points:

1. We need to grow in honesty with ourselves about our motives for using social media. Disengage from social media to the extent that you need to in order to connect and belong in relationally healthy ways. Keep in mind that Facebook unleashes the cyber-equivalent of candy cravings - just because you really want it doesn't mean you need it, nor that it's healthy for you.
2. We need to critically appraise what we see. Identify the worldview from which the material is presented, with its assumptions, biases, and/or agendas. Identify the ways in which media affects our ways of thinking and behaving.
3. Lastly, we need to intentionally, actively and deliberately engage social media to foster positive social change. While the definition of "positive" may be debated, what matters is that social media become a forum for discussion instead of a feel-good warm-fuzzy 'I heart you' kind of tool. Use social media as a platform from which meaningful dialogue about important social concerns may occur. There are inherent problems with this concept. For a graphic demonstration, go to yahoo.ca and read the comment section under a news article about the Middle East. The anonymity afforded by the internet (albeit a somewhat false sense of anonymity) leads us to say and do things that we would not say or do if we were in face to face dialogue. Online "community" is more distanced than real community, and with this distance comes an overall decline in respect because Osama bin Laden's widows are not sitting across the table from me where I can see etched on their faces the sum total of their grief, fear, trauma, and whatever other emotions they are currently experiencing.

Social media needs to be used compassionately and empathetically in pursuit of social justice; social media is a voice - if we use it. Social media needs to be used self-reflexively, being aware of and honest about the ways social media affects us. Social media needs to be used secondarily to other means of meeting our human need for relationship.
On that note... I'm going to head down to the Forks to have coffee with a friend. I am also toying with the idea of disabling my FB account entirely, though I will likely settle for a five minutes a day rule. I don't know... it all feels so uncomfortably non-conformist.

I must give credit to Meghan and Freda for giving me a head-start on this by sharing their thoughts.