the dubious privilege

i had the dubious privilege today...

...of describing the distinct smell of weed to one of my sociology profs.

...of playing hide and seek in the church with a group of 9 to 15 year olds from winnipeg's inner city.

...of changing my phone number to match my location (i feel like an undivided person again!).

...of reading about garbology in qualitative research and imagining the fascinating possibilities for incorporating it into my project in inner city winnipeg.

...of making six variations on my newly minted resume to send off tomorrow before noon.

dubious privileges, you wonder... permit me to explain myself.  i think that privilege deprived of a slightly 'dubious' disposition is just a recipe for an attitude of entitlement.  take an example: i paid a lot of dollars for my education, but i received an education - something women in another era, a different culture, or a less privileged socioeconomic status could only dream of.  i deplore resume-building, but i'm grateful that i am an employable person with a college degree.  i feel a measure of sadness in cutting one (403) tie to alberta, but i feel enormously thankful that the land of the (204) seven-digit dialling has come to represent rich community for me.  nobody likes reading textbooks about research methodology, but i have the wonder of learning and then applying what i learn in real life.  the children were a gong show as the rain prevented us from being out and about, but i have the privilege of learning from and speaking into the lives of six wonderful ojibwe children who simultaneously delight, frustrate, fascinate, irritate, and inspire me.  

'dubious' without privilege breeds demoralizing despondency.  

privilege without 'dubious' feeds the ever-hungry spirit of the monster of entitlement.

life is full of dubious privileges, friends, and we are privileged people!  may we wholeheartedly embrace life's journeys, storm clouds and silver linings. 

painted for me by amy peters.