junkyard Art

If any of you has stared into the abyss that is your own heart, realizing how black, broken, hopeless, and hurting it is, then this is for you.  If you have questioned God's grace for the places of shame and despair that exist in your personal Mess, then your thoughts may mirror what I've written.  Thanks for sharing in this piece of my journey.

my life is messy.

i struggle.

i mess up.

i hurt people.

i get hurt.

i carry my own baggage.

and sometimes the baggage of others.

i'm ugly inside.

if only you knew

every piece of the pie

you'd throw the whole thing back in my face.

so i've carefully divided it up.

entrusted small pieces

of the mess

to a handful of people

to test their response.

trembling inside,

i recoil and withdraw

until i know if their reaction will be rejection.

i'm a mess and i know it.

but they know only a part.

if you knew, would you love me?

if you knew, would you accept me?

if you knew, would you embrace me?

would you call me sister, and friend?

i'm a mess, Lord,

through and through

i surrender to You,

surrender to the hands of the Junkyard Artist.

afraid, reaching, desperate,

hungry for grace,

dreading the moment i reach the bottom

of your ocean called grace...

you know... will you love me?

you know... will you accept me?

you know... will you embrace me?

will you call me daughter and friend?

will you make art of the landfill of Mess in my heart?

i want to know You.

i want to be known.

i want to learn

to love well.

my lamb, I love you,

I accept you,

I call you to Myself as beloved daughter,

as friend.

I embrace you,

hold you near Me,

laugh and cry,

grieve, rejoice with you, child.

you are Mine.

I love you.

May you, as the king of Kings draws you into His arms, find hope and joy in the journey.