I've wandered through the pages of Mark Buchanan's "The Rest of God: Restoring Your Soul by Restoring Sabbath" off and on throughout the last few years. I, like Mark, am learning to "keep Sabbath in the crucible of breaking it." He says - wisely, I think - that "you will never enter the Sabbath day without a Sabbath heart." So I am learning a Sabbath heart, that is "restful even in the midst of unrest and upheaval. It is attentive to the presence of God and others even in the welter of much coming and going... It is still and knows God even when mountains fall into the sea." Thus... Sundays "OFF", which essentially means that nothing is done because I "must" or "ought" or "should" or "need to". What is done is done because it in some way restores balance and rightness to life, acting to correct the lens through which I experience life. It is stepping out of the Monday to Friday House of Mirrors, with all their distortions and exaggerations, to a place where my Creator, myself, and my fellow men and women can be seen honestly. It is an act of faith that proclaims that my work matters less than my being. Some days it is playing. Resting. Listening. Thinking. Worshiping. Community. Processing. In Mark Buchanan's words, Sabbath is stopping to hear God, stopping to taste the Kingdom, stopping to pick up the pieces, stopping to glimpse forever, stopping to become whole, stopping just to waste time, stopping legalism, stopping to remove taskmasters, stopping to number our days aright, stopping to see God's bigness, stopping to think anew. Now that you have the full book review...
Yesterday was full in many ways. Rest-full. Community-full. Hope-full. Joy-full. Meaning-full. Sabbath-full. Courtney, Freda and I drove to church together at WEFC... rich conversation, moments of quiet, music, and frivolous chit-chat. Gord Sawatzky... Uncle Gord from our Congo days... was speaking at WEFC - a delightful surprise - but perhaps the best part was getting a "dad hug" and having a few minutes to talk afterwards. Seeing Alicia (his daughter) - friends who have wandered in and out of my family's life over the past 20+ years, who offer a sense of belonging, of being understood and accepted in a way that I don't think I can communicate here. Seeing Trevor and Nicky Berg briefly, and Hannah, their daughter (she remembered me? Apparently I made an impression). Knowing that I can both give and receive in each of these friendships, that I am not a leech that sucks the other dry, but neither must I be a crutch that must prop up the other. That we - with all our areas of wholeness and brokenness - can enjoy community together.
Leaves were flying off the trees all afternoon in a warm, wild, and playful wind, but the sun was shining and the thermometer reported at least 20 degrees of warmth. So I spent the afternoon laying on a blanket in a patch of sunshine. I catnapped, talked to my family, enjoyed a few pages of reading that really didn't need to get done (I'm one of those keener students that regrets I cannot fully absorb some of the material for lack of time). Got lost in my own thoughts, and found my way out the other end of them. Made a few decisions. Came to terms with a few unknowns. Looked at the red and yellow leaves - enjoyed each one's uniqueness, holding them up to the gusts of wind and watching them spin away from my fingers. I basked in a patch of sunlight, comfortable in my alone-ness.
Then spontaneously decided to drive with friends - some new and some well-known - to the Sandilands east of Steinbach to explore some walking/skiing trails. Walked through pine, oak and poplar forest with the sun setting behind us. Saw a baby black bear and decided it was time to retrace our steps. Met a few horseback riders (we neglected to warn them about the bear). The last rider in line was texting-and-riding. I pitied her. We wondered if she would be the one most likely eaten by Baby Bear's Big Mama. We enjoyed the fading sunset by the car, eating pumpkin cupcakes and trail snacks. We laughed. Talked. It was only after another black bear scuttled across the road thirty feet away from us that we decided it was time to trek back to Otterburne.
Sunday was a good Sabbath. I hope you have a Sabbath-day this week.
5 weeks ago
2 comments:
Jenni, that sounds like a really lovely day. I want to see a black bear.
Sounds like a wonderful day Jen:) I am very jealous however that you got to see Gord & Alicia. I trust you gave them hugs for me too!:) Love you sister. Thanks for sharing about your day!
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