Dear Bedroom Floor,
It is so good to see you again after so long a separation! I look forward to seeing you more often in the coming weeks.
Respectfully,
Jennifer
Dear Sink-ful of Dishes,
It was a pleasure to partner with you, and Turner Residents Alumni & Associates on our recent Chicken Korma and Chai project. As per your request for additional information regarding the company's time-line for completing your work-order, our district manager asked that I provide you with an appropriate time-line for each phase of the project:
-June 13/14 overnight - Soak and Load (task to be completed by Sink o'ColdWater and DishWasher)
-June 14 morning - Ignore (task to be completed by Day Job)
-June 14 evening - Pot Wash (task to be completed by My Hands)
Committed to our customer satisfaction,
Jennifer
Dear Melatonin,
I regret to inform you that our organization no longer requires your services due to the recent routinization of sleep patterns, as well as the current presence of sleep deprivation. I deeply appreciate the enormous effort that you have poured into the company in the past months, so it is with some sadness that I deliver this pink slip to your desk. If, at some time in the future, our company finds an opening in your area of expertise, we will certainly be in touch. Thank you for your months of diligent service.
With regards,
Jennifer
Dear beautiful Nixon watch,
It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance today. I feel like it was a meeting of old friends instead of the awkwardness of first impressions. I look forward to working with you in the future, and taking advantage of the unique skills in punctuality that you bring to our team.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
Dear Silence,
I know you and I have had kind of an ambivalent love-hate relationship this month. Thank you for sticking with me when I needed it, for giving me space and letting me focus on other relationships when I asked for it. You are a good friend; I value our relationship deeply. Want to have coffee this week?
Much love,
Jennifer
Dear Pesky-Buzzing-Steroid-Powered-Manitoba-Mosquito in my house,
This is your eviction notice. Your neighbour, the Ticking Clock, submitted a complaint that your discordant whine is interfering with her tap dance. Get out. You will be served with the appropriate penalty should you disregard this notice.
Awaiting your timely response,
Jennifer
PS - Slap. Splat. I win.
Dear friends,
I am deeply grateful for you. You fill my life with laughter, conversation, life, belonging. Today, I am acutely aware that I am a millionaire because of you; you fill my life with the rich gift of friendship - unearned, undeserved, and profoundly appreciated. Thank you.
For each one who reads this and many who won't ever see it -
Jennifer
Dear Self,
Time for bed, munchkin.
Love,
Your Inner Child
Jennifer
Dear Sink-ful of Dishes,
It was a pleasure to partner with you, and Turner Residents Alumni & Associates on our recent Chicken Korma and Chai project. As per your request for additional information regarding the company's time-line for completing your work-order, our district manager asked that I provide you with an appropriate time-line for each phase of the project:
-June 13/14 overnight - Soak and Load (task to be completed by Sink o'ColdWater and DishWasher)
-June 14 morning - Ignore (task to be completed by Day Job)
-June 14 evening - Pot Wash (task to be completed by My Hands)
Committed to our customer satisfaction,
Jennifer
Dear Melatonin,
I regret to inform you that our organization no longer requires your services due to the recent routinization of sleep patterns, as well as the current presence of sleep deprivation. I deeply appreciate the enormous effort that you have poured into the company in the past months, so it is with some sadness that I deliver this pink slip to your desk. If, at some time in the future, our company finds an opening in your area of expertise, we will certainly be in touch. Thank you for your months of diligent service.
With regards,
Jennifer
Dear beautiful Nixon watch,
It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance today. I feel like it was a meeting of old friends instead of the awkwardness of first impressions. I look forward to working with you in the future, and taking advantage of the unique skills in punctuality that you bring to our team.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
Dear Silence,
I know you and I have had kind of an ambivalent love-hate relationship this month. Thank you for sticking with me when I needed it, for giving me space and letting me focus on other relationships when I asked for it. You are a good friend; I value our relationship deeply. Want to have coffee this week?
Much love,
Jennifer
Dear Pesky-Buzzing-Steroid-Powered-Manitoba-Mosquito in my house,
This is your eviction notice. Your neighbour, the Ticking Clock, submitted a complaint that your discordant whine is interfering with her tap dance. Get out. You will be served with the appropriate penalty should you disregard this notice.
Awaiting your timely response,
Jennifer
PS - Slap. Splat. I win.
Dear friends,
I am deeply grateful for you. You fill my life with laughter, conversation, life, belonging. Today, I am acutely aware that I am a millionaire because of you; you fill my life with the rich gift of friendship - unearned, undeserved, and profoundly appreciated. Thank you.
For each one who reads this and many who won't ever see it -
Jennifer
Dear Self,
Time for bed, munchkin.
Love,
Your Inner Child
6 comments:
This made me smile :D Congrats on your confrontation with the PBSPM Mosquito.
MDW... you make ME smile. May I continue to use the PBSPMM acronym for the duration of the insect season? "Mosquito" just doesn't do it justice.
Loved the post Jenni!
Love it Jen:) Wish I was this creative with my blog!
YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRE? Also, I recently vacuumed by bedroom floor, for the first time since November and it's been a revelation.
I have always known God is good in my head, because that is what I tell my head and it is true. But (yes, I eat my words most days, "but") there is a knowing that can't quite be reached by intellectual exercise alone. Your friendship is evidence, an experience or expression of God's goodness in my life. It is as if God looked on me at Timberline and said only the best for this girl and then he gave me you. Jenni, the book that I borrowed of yours, "to know as we are known," summarizes how I think and feel and dream about our friendship. I remember being at Timberline with you and telling Mark Iblings "I have a friend!" Thank you with a wet willy attached.
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