Finding UnFriends on Facebook

All right.  This is the last one in the series of three on social media.  Facebook, oh Facebook, what shall I say about you?

I recently overheard a preachy conversation between two people regarding the evils of Facebook: it destroys face to face relationships, it's a poor substitute for the real deal, etc. etc. etc.  The usual litany of complaints.  I realized in that moment that I don't want to sound like I have a chip on my shoulder.  I don't want to get upset at Facebook or the impact that it has on the way we communicate.  I want to (1) use it (2) appropriately and responsibly, (3) with a high level of self-awareness, and (4) encourage others to do the same.
Period.
That's it.

So on that note... check your privacy settings.  And teach underage and vulnerable Facebook users to reject friend requests the one I got recently.  It was accompanied by a message that went something like this... (WARNING - GRAPHIC CONTENT)


Hi.  You're hot.  I act in adult XXX industry films.  Your lips look so good that they could appear in a pornography feature film.  I had an erection when I saw your profile picture and masturbated while looking at your lips.  Any male with normal hormonal levels and a penis would do the same, but at least I'm honest enough to tell you what's flowing along my polluted neural pathways.  I want to talk about the pornography industry with you.  Please be my friend.

Yuck.  Seriously...?  I edited out the details and the lewd vernacular.  I felt like a disembodied, sexualized being.  I gag... then spew.  Spew a fountain of feminist rhetoric about the needless sexualization of the female body - and can you blame me in that moment?  Is this normal?  I think of all the vulnerable thirteen to eighteen year-old females who might be receiving similar emails.  I've never received this kind of thing before.  I realize, however, that this is not representative of the world's males, whom I have found to be no more or less vice-prone than the world's females.

Sick - yes.  But I also had to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.  I mean - have you seen my profile picture?  Nothing sultry or seductive there, unless you count smiling.  So thank you for the "compliment," Mr. Dmitry-Internet-Predator/Sex-Spammer.  Thankfully, this is the only picture of my lips that you can see, as my privacy settings are fairly airtight.  My privacy settings also prevent you from seeing my real age... which means you don't know or care how old I am.  This makes me wonder how old your other lip-fetish-friends are.  If I figure out how many of those attractive females are underage, I will relish reporting you to the appropriate law enforcement agency.  In the meantime, get the f--- off my Facebook profile.  (Oh, and P.S. - the Bahaman boys club has already claimed a monopoly on my disembodied derriere, so while you may love my lips, my cheeks are off-limits).

All this made me think of a timeless song.

I imagined my dear Sex-Spammer in therapy.  It made me laugh.