my $3.35 investment

step 5: check facebook.  the best way for a good prank to be ruined is by having M find out via facebook that the whole thing's a farce.  Del is apparently from Regina SK with 300 and some facebook friends, and likes gopher hunting, getting up in the morning, and going to bed at night.  perfect.


step 6: at an appropriate time, confess to having facebook stalked the new roommate, and disclose the above information.  express appropriate sympathy for M throughout the weekend.


step 7: go to the steinbach MCC and buy the largest, dirtiest pair of long underwear on the rack, as well as ratty old socks, a couple well-worn towels, a stinky pair of leather "redneck" mitts, and a really bad country gospel CD (forgot to mention that M isn't a huge fan of Christian music of any sort, and hates country music with a passion.  he also likes dark chocolate).  checkout total: $3.35.  buy a $4 end-table (one of the ones with doors so you can put things inside), and conceal all items inside.  this also functions as a very good excuse for going to MCC if the motive is questioned.  buy dark chocolate at superstore.


step 8: ask M for help in putting the TV (which currently resides on the floor) on the end-table as a TV stand.  smile and look innocent when he comments that all your talk of vengeance for his previous shenanigans is just blowing smoke.  remind him that he's an insightful counselling student... and i'm too nice to do anything really nasty (although i threatened the previous week to talk to the sociology dept and recommend him as the student representative on the panel for the faculty forum... which was on the topic of feminism).


step 9: be nice.  sympathetic.  supportive.  etc.


step 10: place a generous portion of water, the towels, long underwear, socks, and leather gloves inside a garbage bag and seal for the weekend... ensuring they will smell slightly musty.


step 11: while M is in class on monday afternoon, go into the suite.  place socks and long underwear in the sink and fill it with water.  place dripping towel on floor behind the bathroom door.  place another one over the edge of the tub.  stinky mitts are thrown on the floor of the common area.  country gospel album is strategically placed so the edge is sticking out from under the closed (and now locked) bedroom door.


step 12: wait.


step 13: ask M how his day has been.  he expresses frustration.  act sympathetic and a little bit incredulous when he tells his sorry tale.  assure him that if anyone can handle it... he can.  they'll just have to talk through it.  ask to see the bathroom.  he allows this, but reminds me to be quiet "because Del might still be in the bedroom... it's locked."


step 14: act appropriately disgusted by the state of the bathroom.  give M space... he needs to process this before he comes out for supper.


step 15: retrieve dark chocolate from my room.  wait.  make some supper.  load the appropriate clip from planes, trains and automobiles on youtube. hang out with A... wait for M to emerge.

step 16: when M emerges from his room, start watching the youtube clip with A... let M see it.  conceal your surprise when he does not catch on.  confirm that he has seen this movie.  ponder the name of John Candy's character with A... what was it anyways?  A looks it up online... finds a quiz.  Asks M for his help.

step 17: allow M to see the options:

What was the name of John Candy's character in the movie Planes, Trains & Automobiles?

Del Griffin Dale Griffith Del Griffith Del Griffing step 18: wait for M to get it... that time, he got it (though it took a few minutes before he understood how exactly we had pulled it off).  and we all had a laugh.  M is relieved that he does not have a new suite-mate. step 19: clean up the bathroom.  offer dark chocolate as a peace offering.